Spamalot

I get a lot of spam. I advertise on craigslist.org. I'm sure you've all received those emails from some half-wit in Africa requesting that you allow them to deposit 11 million dollars into your account to secure their safe passage to the US, or something bizarre like that. Well, recently I've had these goofballs now emailing me about hiring my wedding band and will pay me in money orders. I just need to tell them how much they owe me and where to send the check... I've pasted a request and my reply. I'm getting a little ahead of myself though in introducing my character Zintrigali the Poisoner. He came to life a few spams ago. Let me dig those up and I'll post them too...

peter howard wrote: (the spammer)
>
> Hello,i am Peter Howard,i just read your ad at craigslist,i will need your services for my wedding which is on the 26th of november,i am curently on vacation with my fiancee in Africa,so my office in the states will make payment available to you with money orders,if that is fine,please let me know how much you will be requesting from us.Thanks and have a lovely day ahead.
>
> Peter Howard

Hello Peter Howard,

We are requesting $157,000 for our services. Please send us a cashier's check for the amount to this address:... [my address here]

Send this payment immediately or further charges will incur. We have been in contact with your office and have notified them that we will begin the fraud, larceny and infant-buggery proceedings against you and your office as of November 10, should we not receive your payment. Please remit this payment immediately upon receiving this email to avoid further punishment. We have also contacted the tourist-tracking office in Africa and have alerted them to your presence, Peter Howard. We've explained to them the amount of money you owe us for our services and will be ready to apprehend you and your fiancee the instant we notify them that you've not made your payment. They are also instructed to hold your parents hostage in the states while we're investigating your refusal to pay what is owed to us. We've alerted the US Postal System to your fraudulent attempts to solicit our services via phony money orders. As Africa's leading-most poisoner, I am greatly feared by all businessmen in the West and in Africa. It would be in your better interest to pay what you owe and to not eat dates.

We look forward to providing our service for you.

Thank you,
Zintrigali the Poisoner.


I've not gotten a reply back from Peter although he had sent me three of the same emails within two days. It's just not fair. I replied to him...

Let me go find my other spam replies...